Archive for the ‘College Basketball’ category

Bull Rush in Abril

April 3, 2008

Ok, I’m here. I’m alive, although I’m not sure anybody equated my death with my lack of posting. If so, you should now be feeling an overwhelming sense of relief.

• Last night I went to the Dodger game with Big Daddy Eisner and BDE’s parents, who gainfully employed me during high school. If by some chance, you’re a casual reader of this blog and need BBQ Catering in the Greater Los Angeles Area, please do go with Rosie’s BBQ. We sat in the orange (second level), which proved to be pretty good. The seats were under the overhang, but still in prime foul ball territory, which always makes things exciting, although BDE and I slightly disagree on catching technique. He opts for catching like an egg, where as I’m of the belief that you should cradle it into the body, rib injury be damned. The game sucked, it was cold, and I made myself even colder by eating an ice cream sandwich in the later innings. Also, I think Scott owes me money for parking. (I will, however, accept BBQ food in the place of money.)

• I did a video with college wrestling fans and participants a couple of weeks ago for SI. You’ve probably already made up your mind about whether this interests you, but it’s up on the new version of my site at SI Tour Guy. Hopefully in the coming months, the SI player will be upgraded so that everybody can watch videos on the site that wants to, with no problems.

• I’ve been running more and more and my body seems to be holding up. I attribute this to my listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show on the ol’ Shuffle. Nothing gets you jacked up to keep pushing yourself like a cranky guy pushing 60 who endlessly complains. Good stuff.

• There’s a Sharky’s five minutes from me that is outstanding, save for their horrible, semi-paved parking lot.

• The Ducks just opened spring practice. I did my best to explain the issues being addressed to Yackie, and I must say, she did a fairly good job of following along. What I’ve done to her may now be more clearly defined as a “near-thorough brainwashing.”

• Frozen custard in St. Louis is excellent. After getting lost (in what must be the most abandoned major city in the country), Sully and I made it to Ted Drewes, where around 60 people were eating frozen custard in 40 degree weather. The other highlight was going into North St. Louis (not East) and getting the best ribs I’ve ever eaten. Were we the only two white people in the neighborhood? Almost. Was it as bad as it was described to us? Not so much.

The best thing was returning the car immediately after eating those ribs and having the Avis employees completely flip out at how great the rib smell was as soon as we opened the door. Good folk in the StL.

• I’ve been watching season one of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job (actual title), the 12 minute sketch show on Adult Swim, and it’s pretty funny. It gets a little odd sometimes, but well worth one’s time (if he or she were to have too much of it). Friend of the blog Esa (Garbage blog, see right) recommended Frisky Dingo, also on Adult Swim. I’ve watched four episodes (12 min), also pretty funny. See, this is why I’ve been running so much, I either do nothing or kill myself doing something, I’m strange.

Hulu.com is the best thing ever to help you do nothing. I’ve been watching Arrested Development episodes that I’ve already seen, nonstop.

“You mean he can’t even grow his own hair? C’mon!”

Oregon basketball is not so good. Next year, the team will be completely different, let’s hope Big Ern gets some new assistants, as well. Luckily, Big Mike Dunigan (incoming 5* center) won’t have to deal with those pesky Brothers Lopez. God was this year awful to watch.

• I think I’m going to start doing some new web stuff in the near future, all this time is ridiculous. Stay tuned. Or don’t. Whatever, it’s coo.

• Old friend Sam is moving to London. I ate steaks with him and other people from the Cbas last weekend. Ray Romano was there, but he seemed to want to eat with other people and not recognize that Sam was leaving. Sucker.

We went up to Sam’s office at Google around the corner, where I got way too excited about free candy and played Rock Band for the first time. I killed it on lead vox during Fall Out Boy and The Killers. EPIC.

• Yackie framed my two magazine appearances with the covers of the respective issues they appear in. The thought is great, but I now am constantly distracted by a Playboy cover in front of me with a giant painted ass. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not.

• Just so you know, navel oranges are for sure in season.

This is getting long. That’s what she said.

Zing.

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Under the Crazies

March 12, 2008

So this past weekend, I filmed one of my little episodes with Casey at Duke before the North Carolina game. It didn’t look like I was going to be able to get in on my non-existent media clout, as the SI credential was rightfully promised to Stewart Mandel, who I would guess would put the credential to good use by taking worthwhile notes from a good vantage point during the game. I found out that he got caught in some sort of storm in New York, so suddenly, if there was nobody else that would use the pass, it was mine. Bingo. I went from hoping to meet a desperate scalper to having to climb over the media table to get to my seat. Not bad.

I wasn’t at all prepared to take notes – I just had Casey’s computer, which was actually Candice‘s, and his man purse, which was devoid of anything respectable to write on. My pad was in my backpack, which was with Casey while he went for a return trip to Cook Out, for another milkshake. Fair enough.

My solution was to write on the one piece of paper that somehow made its way in front of me – a two-sided sheet explaining all the chants the Cameron Crazies would be rolling through, as well as the list of recruits that were at the game. I had a writer from the USA Today (respectable) on one side of me and one from the NY Daily News (tabloid) on the other, so I had to at least make an attempt to look like I belonged, as there was a placard that said SI.com in front of me. My solution was to take unreadable notes in the margins of the paper that I would be able to read a later time for a blog, but that nobody else around me could decipher and realize that I was a fraud. The ensuing is a series of bullet points of what I noticed before, during, and after the game. Let’s hope I can read at least four of these items…

• The Duke cheerleaders seemed very energetic, and it appears that the one who is standing in front of me trying to excite the student section does an ungodly number of sit-ups. I should do more sit-ups.

• One of my best friends in college (Corndog) was in the Oregon Marching Band and he had a friend who was in the Duke Marching Band. Apparently, a ton of people join the football band and sit through an atrocious season every year because being in the basketball pep band is the pot at the end of the rainbow. I can’t remember how the band was during the game, but they rocked the pre-game. Hard.

• You can’t simply walk to your seat at the media table because of the throng of Cameron Crazies smother every conceivable inch of clean air in this place. The solution here is that media types have to climb over the table from the court to get to their seats. I thought it was pretty funny to see if any of the old-timers would hurt themselves during this very basic maneuver, and then I promptly hurt something in my shoulder doing it. Damnit.

• My favorite part of the game was the pre-game. I don’t know if it was seeing semi-famous people walking around, or being excited over pretending that I belonged on the floor before the biggest college basketball game of the year, but there was an unmistakable energy in Cameron that I’ve never been a part of before. Oh, and Erin Andrews was there (scary thin, needs Carolina BBQ).

• The Manning brothers and Matthew McConaughey were apparently at the game. I don’t recall seeing anybody sans shirt, but I’ll assume this is true.

• It’s 2008, and to me anyway, it seems like people have generally evolved past the usage of your common toupee. Not so much among sportswriters. The trend is still very much alive and well on media row, in case you were wondering.

• Yesterday, because I’m very vain, I watched the game on TiVo and found myself. I’m positive it was me because I instantly found the guy who had to constantly try to look around the undercarriage of a specific ref who made it a point to set up shop directly in front of me 70% of the time on that side of floor.

Coach K‘s camp would definitely be better than Coach J’s. And remember, he a leader who just happens to be a coach. How I love commercials.

• At 8:41 in the first half, we get out first Duke flop. The flop simulation in my video makes a little more sense now, although my dad had no idea what I was talking about.

• It may have happened, but I completely missed seeing the Scheyer Face in person. Rats.

• During a TV timeout, Jay Bilas raced around the court, met up with Crazies at half court, and then got on a surfboard that was on top of Duke students who were rolling on the ground and towing the board at the game time. After the board passed over them, they jumped up and ran to the front, where they would then meet the board to tow some more. The end result made it look like Bilas (knees bent, arms out surfer style) was surfing across the court. It was pretty cool looking, but completely insane.

• Duke had a baby mascot come out to do mascot-y things. It appeared to be a seven year old with a uniform and a smaller mascot head. This was way better than the schools that try to have a male and female mascot, which should be abolished immediately.

• I wrote down, “hard dunk, i wish i could.” This seems self-explanatory.

Greg Paulus, at one point, was on fire. I couldn’t hear or see the broadcast, but I have no doubt that Dickie V probably got a little moist watching this.

• At halftime, I had a pretty good M&M cookie and some Sprite in the media room. So strange that sportswriters have a reputation of being gross and overweight…

• Another flop at 16:28 in the second half. The universe was in order.

• The big chant of the night was, “Ty-ler Tra-vels…EVERY TIME.” Well, he sort of does, but Tyler Hansbrough still got hacked for 40 straight minutes. As much as some people don’t like him, he’s exactly the type of player that every team would love to have – he gives tremendous effort, cleans up everything around the basket, and makes his free throws. The chant is still kind of true, though.

• I wasn’t that impressed overall with North Carolina. In person, I could see why they would lose to a better-coached team. There’s always five really good basketball players on the floor for the Tar Heels that can score in crazy-quick bunches, but they can be figured out.

• Duke inched its way back into the game by finally settling down and working towards the best shot. They of course then blew it by turning the ball over and forcing shots. Oops.

• As they got closer, the crowd, as it should have done, exploded with every big shot. There are a lot of reasons not to like Duke, but this was a really good home crowd.

• Jon Scheyer tried for the four point play (fake and up), didn’t get it, and probably cost Duke their final chance at closing the gap in the last minute. There had to have been a Scheyer face here, but I didn’t have the angle.

• Duke loses, people are sad, I leave immediately to meet Casey to beat the crowd and get to a bar to watch the second half of the Oregon game. Oregon wins, all is well.

I should have a legitimate pass to an event coming up soon, so I’ll try to take some more notes if anybody likes reading these long-ish posts. At the very least, Yackie probably will, and Sully and Big Daddy Eisner will hold off on demanding more blog posts.

Out.

Wha? Monday Bullets?

December 17, 2007


Pre-SuperBurrito.

You got it Chachi. You got it.

• I’m watching House right now and it’s pretty good. Hugh Laurie is fairly strong but I’m not so crazy about the supporting cast. I guess it’s pretty much the Cleveland Cavaliers of the Fox drama department.

• Last night, I went back to Don Antonio’s (yes, the Don Antonio’s) with Yackie, Sully, and KtL. Last time we went was the day UCLA embarrassed themselves in the Final Four this past March. Sully wound up likewise embarrassing himself when he got conquered by the Chicken Super Burrito ($10.75). Fast forward to yesterday, all remained similar (save for Yackie getting an enchilada this time) and Sully managed to at least stay awake through dessert, albeit in a pompous, over-the-top fashion. I have no idea if he fell asleep during the car ride home with KtL, and I don’t know if we’ll ever know. God Speed, Sully, God Speed.

Oregon lost to Nebraska. Tajuan Porter, had an unreal game, but couldn’t make a free throw. I don’t like where this season is heading if the Ducks can’t make defensive stops, hit free throws, and get controlled play from the point guard position, they’ll be sixth-ish in the Pac-10 instead of second-ish, where they should be. Blech.

• Had a downright tasty lunch with old buddy RPT (she’s not old, although I’m pretty sure older than I am), visiting from Portland. I ate with her and her friends she was visiting at Canter’s. It was pretty uneventful (I went with the standard CB Sand), other than a fire truck and ambulance sitting outside the restaurant to take somebody away. Not all that surprising – Canter’s skews anything but young.

Andrew Bynum‘s arms look to be about nine feet long. He looks to be pretty good at basketball. Woo.

• It’s college football recruiting season, which, of course, brings out the recruiting uber-nerd in me. I won’t go into any detail that will at some point incriminate me (and there are many far worse than I), but the Ducks’ class appears to be coming together quite nicely. You’re bored, I’m moving on.

American Gangster is pretty good, not great, though.

• The season two highlight reel of the CFTG I believe should be up on SI and my site in the near future. You won’t believe all the nudity, A-list celebrities, and rampant drug use that’s included. Mostly because it’s not in there.

• The season four Lost trailer looks awesome. Crazy Asian guy from Uncle Junior’s nursing home on The Sopranos? Check. The guy who played Eugene from Eugene, OR from Rescue Dawn? Check. More of the Jack beard? Check. I’m jazzed. Ok, I’ll never say “jazzed” again.

• I just downloaded the CTU phone ringing sound as a new ringtone for my iPhone. I won’t lie, I’m pretty excited.

More later this week. Yes….more!!

Thoisday Bullets

December 6, 2007


Yeah.

And thus, the bullets are back.

• I played tennis with my dad yesterday, and despite playing generally mistake free tennis and up 3-0, I hurt my back/lower neck when running and lunging for an easy approach shot (which still went for a winner). The next point, I was able to serve it (with pain) and immediately called the match in a fashion that, in retrospect, was probably a little overdramatic. I’ve been pumping myself full of meds, Yackie was even kind enough to set up a heating pad for me. Bottom line: this kind of thing happens to elite athletes performing at a premiere level. I’m listed as day to day, but I advise you to leave me on your fantasy bench for the time being, just for precautionary reasons.

• I haven’t shaved since the Michigan episode out of solidarity for the Oregon football cause. As soon as they win, I’ll shed what’s quickly becoming a respectable beard, despite the expected itchiness period. Hopefully they beat South Florida in the Sun Bowl, because if not, I may have a realistic shot at becoming the singer for System of a Down next September.

30 Rock is still the funniest show on TV right now and nobody is more surprised at that fact and that I’m admitting to it than me.

Kobe Bryant is good at basketball. He completely took over during the last couple minutes last night at Denver. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t remind me of a young Dan Rubenstein dominating the Woodland Hills Park leagues circa the early to mid-90s with his ability to go left and make things happen in traffic. Represent.

• I have no idea how I feel about the Dodgers signing Andruw Jones. He could be a disaster and hit .229 or be the bat the Dodgers desperately need. His HR numbers will probably be down again, especially playing at Dodger Stadium, but he still should be at least an improvement in the power department. I don’t care enough about baseball right now to formulate an opinion yet.

• I haven’t really been to too many movies to recommend or trash anything, although Yackie and I did get cheap and start going to a couple of free screenings. We actually only went to see Apatow movies, but both were really good, if not in pretty rough stages of post-production. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was Jason Segal getting dumped and moping (again) in Hawaii, with Kristen Bell in a bikini for most of it as the girl who dumps him and tortures him with her new boyfriend at the same resort. The Pineapple Express is a great stoner/action movie written by and starring Seth Rogen, alongside James Franco. Probably the next Half-Baked, but I’ll probably be wrong, who knows.

• My neck still hurts.

• I’ve been lame in listening to music, I generally just listen to Stern now. The music I have been at least repeating a lot (although not quite to the level of the Corndog loops) has been Spoon, Wilco, Steel Train, and the new album from The Boss.

• Immediately after I finish writing this, I’m going to finish editing the season two reel of The College Football Tour Guy (Guide). I’m not sure yet where it’ll be posted, but it’ll be somewhere so you can relive what I think is the best few minutes of the season all in one place.

• I saw Wicked with Yackie Tuesday night (pre-neck injury) and it wasn’t terrible. The highlight was probably dinner beforehand at Dan Tana’s when we got to sit at a booth next to what appeared to be a belligerent alcoholic threatening the manager and his wife for no apparent reason. Then, some sort of a work associate came in and sat at the booth on the other side of us, which prompted him to go over there and yell at some other guy about how some boss embarrassed him more than he’s ever been in his life, which must be saying something. I don’t remember specifics, but the phrase, “No, you fucking listen to ME!!” was shouted a few times. It was almost funny how awkward the room became. Oh well, the chicken parm was good.

• I’m intrigued by Oregon basketball so far. I wish they hadn’t lost, but Saint Mary’s is now #26 in the country and has some sort of freshman wizard Australian point guard named Patrick Mills. Somehow, though, Oregon beat Kansas State in Manhattan, KS and dropped a couple spots in the rankings. Hm.

Quickly, here’s how the team looks to break down: Joevan Catron is fearless, lost some weight and has a great soft touch around the rim. He just needs to stay out of foul trouble. Bryce and Maarty should provide the most consistency slashing (in Bryce’s case) and playing inside-out (in Maarty’s). Malik still has the ability to take over a game with his all-around abilities, but still manages to take himself out of games with an occasional lack of involvment. TP still seems like he’ll go on another crazy streak and probably has the fastest first step in the conference. Kam Brown looks like a solid contributor capable of both scoring and leading the offense. I, along with what appears to be every Duck fan, feel that the less Mitch Platt the better. Lekendric Longmire seems alright off the bench as an off guard. I really like saying, “Lekendric Longmire.”

• T-minus about 28-ish days until my first real cheesesteak. I can only assume the number of pictures that will document this historic event will be nothing short of creepy.

Thassit. 965 words of unadulterated brilliance. You’re welcome.

Bra-Vo

June 26, 2007

I have a headache, so this post is being brought to you with a healthy dose of adversity, perseverance, and dare I say, heroism.

• My initial idea four minutes ago was to live blog the Shaq weight loss show. The opening sequence previewing the show looked too good to pass up, but after watching the first couple minutes, I realized that I’d probably be too big of a dick to make fun of overweight kids. It even came as a shock to me that I have a line.

Anyway, at some point in the show, Tyler Florence makes an appearance, which I’m sure is in good intentions, but it’s tough to get over the fact that he’s the milf hunter (Food 911) and gigantic sell-out (Applebee’s). For what it’s worth, His contribution in the opening sequence was comparing fast food to prison food. Uh.

It’s too easy to make fun of Shaq, on account of him showing up overweight to almost every training camp he attended as a Laker (and this past year in Miami), so I’ll abstain.

James Loney could single-handedly make the Dodgers enjoyable to watch this summer. Not even a couple hours ago, he hit a baseball that cleared the outfield fence. This act looked vaguely familiar, but nothing I’m at all used to seeing this year. I’ve never purchased one of those overpriced Dodgers jersey t-shirts, but I’m as close as I’ll ever be with Loney. Woo.

Sully moved away to Redondo Beach because he says it will be an easier commute for his work. Personally, it sounds like an excuse. Some popular theories that have been floating around on some underground blogs include:

1. He needed to be reasonably far from where I was recognized (with him in tow) in the local Ralph’s.
2. He couldn’t handle the everyday rigors of living with somebody as recognizable and socially important as myself.
3. His unorthodox meals of raw oats and applesauce are looked down upon by the more civilized members of society. Redondo Beach is far less evolved.
4. THe positions and locations of him inexplicably passing out made his roomates and neighbors increasingly uncomfortable (see above).
5. He killed a guy here and needed to lay low. They’d never find him in Redondo, due to the rampant lawlessness and chaos. (most popular theory)

• I got suckered into watching My Life on the D-List, the Kathy Griffin reality show on Bravo where she repeatedly tries to top how much she can shamelessly promote herself. Some say she and I have a lot in common, but they’d be wrong. Sully.

Anyway, it’s essentially an hour of her trying to get into Us Weekly, trying to put herself into situations where she’s around famous people, and then telling stories in her act about how horrible famous people are. It’s a completely dishonorable way to make a living, but whatever, it’s entertaining.

• I watched Sicko. The message was unquestionably important, but certain facts were sort of glossed over and ignored. B+.

Lasorda’s Lesbos entered their second week at their rightful place atop the fantasy baseball standings. My situation is not unlike the events at the end of The Lion King.

• The Lakers might get KG. If it happens, start saving now for Laker tickets!

• The Oregon basketball DVD is disappointing. It’s almost as if Joe Giansante was waiting for an implosion that never happened so he wouldn’t have to make the DVD. It seems thrown together and organized. I’ve never heen a huge fan of blurry, zoomed-in TV coverage to escape paying for the rights.

Yackie got bombed at her own graduation party. She didn’t really embarrass herself, but she didn’t really not embarrass herself either, if that makes sense.

• I literally just received this email message: “ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER would like to be added to your MySpace friends list.” Hmm, seems a bit off.

Time to Advil up.

Scandinavia Knows How to Party

June 4, 2007

• So there’s one more episode of Sopranos left. The last 35 minutes of last night’s episode was downright nerve-wracking. They won’t possibly be able to tie up every loose end and open-ended plot line in 65 minutes next week, but I’m sure it’ll still be infinitely better than anything that’s ever happened on Bones or Medium. I’m too hung up on how much better Sopranos is, rather than how good it is, if that makes sense. By the way. the scene where all the strippers and bouncers come running out of the Bing naked was great, and I say that speaking beyond the nudity, although that doesn’t hurt.

Entourage loses me a little every week. It’s as if they know this and specifically named a new character (played by Adam Goldberg) Rubenstein, just to make me happy. So far, I’m on board, but soon I’ll need a Dan Rubenstein to stay fully committed.

• I make good turkey tacos. The key is using the thinnest shredded cheese possible and La Victoria Hot Taco Sauce. I’m pretty easy.

• Ernie Kent will be signing copies of the Oregon Basketball 2006-07 DVDs at the UO Bookstore this week. I don’t know if he’s personalizing them or not (my guess is no), but if he is, I want somebody to get me one that says, “Moooove, Dan, moooove. – Ernie Kent”

• I just looked down at my fingernails and thought I may have unconsiously murdered somebody, as they appeared to be bloody. Good thing I realized that it was just La Victoria Hot Taco Sauce.

Knocked Up gets a solid A from me. Tons of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared supporting cast, Seth Rogen is great, Heigl held her own, and their was even a fantasy baseball scene. I wish I had a personalized ratings system for a movie like this. Ok, fine, I will. I give it 4.5 out of 5 Rubies. I’ve got to figure out what a Ruby looks like so I can create a visual for my rating system, but just know Knocked Up is great and you’ll get more value out of your $11 than if you went and saw Shrek or Johnny Depp.

• The new Patton Oswalt cd is still really good. It opens with a frank discussion of the KFC Famous Bowls, which somehow were considered to be famous just as they were released. I’m starting my own campaign for restaurants to prove the fame of menu items. Times will change under my watch.

• I went to Manhattan Beach on Saturday night to attend a party that coincided with the week of Sully‘s birthday (although I would not call it his birthday party). I drank most of a cup of what tasted like sweetened Drain-O and stood around uncomfortably as familiar Calabasas faces loomed nearby. I almost saw Oliver “Don’t Call me Squanto” Gunanto but left before he arrived. Yes, I gave him that nickname, it was a tennis thing.

• I did nearly 41 pushups today and expect to be wiggling my rippling pectorals in no time. That’s right, ladies.

• No word on KtL in Europe. While I was probably overreacting when I guessed that she had taken up with Richard Krajicek, Sully admitted that he’d be less hurt if KtL started a whirlwind romance with Stefan Edberg. I’m not sure why this is, my guess is Sully just has a soft spot for Scandinavian serve and volleyers.

• In a related story, Sully managed to embarass American tennis even more than the professional men did at Roland Garros, which is saying something.

• The Dodgers haven’t hit a home run since 2003. Thankfully, they got rid of Paul Konerko.

• I don’t really go there all that often, but before Knocked Up, Yackie and I went to The Cheesecake Factory and they had apparently removed my go-to sandwich from the menu. Luckily, my spirits were raised when Yackie tore through a slice of cheesecake like she hadn’t eaten since the last Dodger home run.

• Oh yes, back to the Manhattan Beach non-Sully birthday party. After the party cleared out pretty early, we (Sully, Big Daddy Eisner, future Sully roomate Josh, and I) went to some bar/club that was either very close or very far from the party. It was uneventful, save for the girl who did everything short of procreation with a happily cooperative guy on the dance floor. Seriously, it was difficult for any male within 15 feet to concentrate on anything else for a solid 25 minutes. I tried to bust a move in her general area, but she wasn’t having it. My guess is she knew that she wasn’t ready for this jelly.

I don’t know how this sort of thing begins, but I can go as far as guessing that the guy probably didn’t just go up to her and ask if she would mind dancing on him to the point where her uterus was possibly exposed. I heart clubs.

Time to keep pounding the pecs/go to sleep.

Bada Bing

April 16, 2007

• Wow, The Sopranos. Having a show like that back and completely hit its stride (like it did last night) reminds you how shows were meant to be done. I don’t know how anybody (myself included) watches anything and invests in anything that’s so clearly inferior.

(Alright, the part where I act like snobby TV dick is over)

There are so many great little things about the show, though, that make it so good. First of all, Paulie answering his phone in the middle of the Cleaver screening and telling whoever he was talking to to “just put it in the trunk” was great. Silvio being completely out of his element and not knowing how to say anything is also great.

“He’s a mean fuck, I’ll give him that…” So good.

At this point, the show looks like it’s being set up to go out on a note of inevitable empathy on the part of the younger generation of the families. Something big will happen, whether it be Tony or Christopher getting killed (probably by one or the other) and it’ll lead to everything just sort of breaking down.

One dark horse theory is that Carmela will kill Tony. I like it, it works with the mood of the show that Tony can handle everything but his family, but I don’t know, it may be a stretch.

Of course, all is forgiven with the whole taking 19 years off between seasons.

Let’s move on…

Sully is more emo than you think. I should probably end the inside joke posts, but Sully’s a sucker for casual mentions on a blog that’s read by literally billions of people.

• So is Jackie.

• So is Big Daddy Eisner, who, by all accounts, continues to melt hearts and then leave discretely in the morning across the greater Los Angeles area. Well played, BDE, well played.

• The Lakers are getting in on the whole tanking epidemic that’s apparently running rampant in the NBA. Unfortunately, they clinched a playoff spot last night and will most likely play the Suns starting next week in the first round of playoffs. I’m almost positive they can’t beat them in a series, but after reading :07 Seconds or Less, and the way the Suns whine about the Lakers constantly, it’d be nice for somebody on Phx to come out of the series a little more bruised than they were coming in.

*Cough* Raja Bell *Cough*

• I tried to go to the Dodger game Saturday night against the Padres to formally kick off a season of more cleverly captioned photographs of mainly Big Daddy Eisner eating hot dogs and giving a thumbs up while seated near Hasidic rapper look-a-likes. If the Dodgers aren’t selling their games as packed with hot dogs and Hasid rapper look-a-likes, they should probably get on the ball with that.

• I got a haircut today. They shampooed and conditioned my hair. I may be going soft in my old age, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get a haircut without a vaguely foreign woman running her nails through my sopping wet hair again. Just saying.

Too much information? I can never tell.

Chamberlain Oguchi is no longer a Duck. He’ll be transferring somewhere where he’ll get more of an opportunity to either hit eight straight threes or go for 3-13 on any given night. I don’t know what to say. Corndog and I had a great time drunkenly yelling “The Gooooooooch” every time he came in, so that was a highlight. Also, having the nickname “Champ” is worth something, right?

He couldn’t handle the ball well, he was a decent defender, wasn’t much of a slasher, but was a good energy guy off the bench and was the subject of the same hilarious quick bio every time he came into the game of “He can really heat up at any time, like he did last year in the Pac-10 Tournament,” as he was pouring in atrocious shooting games all year (but yes, he did have a bad ankle probably most the way). All in all, I’ll miss ya Gooch, best o’ luck.

• Don’t watch NFL Draft coverage before the draft. Seriously, it’s a waste of time. Nobody really knows anything, so just go to whatever draft site you prefer, learn who should be taken in the first couple rounds, and just enjoy the draft when it airs. I’m not sure why I’ve decided to take this space to give out draft coverage advice, but you’ve gotta trust me, I literally ate a steak sandwich today.

• The new beard is filling in nicely. I’ll take another picture soon for what I assume are all of your specific chronological photographic files on me.

• Sometimes you just wanna ride a go-kart, and now my friends, is one of those times.

Urban Eats in Burbank is really good, if not a little overpriced. They put pesto mayo on their sandwiches and it may not be up to the “bathing level,” (when a sauce is good enough to bathe in) as Big Daddy Eisner would put it (for him it’s Mission Burrito enchilada sauce, and Tommy’s chili), but it’s still skyrocketing up the sandwich spread rankings that I just made up for this very bullet point.

(Not sure if Big Daddy Eisner will mind the divulging of that dark secret of his, but whatever)

This has gone far enough. Good night Tacoma.