Archive for the ‘Heroes’ category

Lo Siento (y muchos bullet points)

September 27, 2007

I’m a terrible person, there’s no better way of explaining my lack of motivation to post here. A lot has transpired over the past few weeks, but I’ll do my best to outline it in a super-mega-extended barrage of bullet points. Sexy!

• I will be producing The College Football Tour Guide for Sports Illustrated at and The name of the segment has been changed to The College Football Tour Guy (I suspect because of legal reasons), but it really doesn’t matter all that much. I have to bleep out profanity, but in all honesty, I’m one of the biggest fans of bleeped profanity out there. Arrested Development is funnier because of it, and if I can be 1/56,934,524,594,325,237th as funny as Arrested Development, than I’m succeeding. I’ve done four episodes so far and I’m doing 12 in 12 weeks. This year is national, so there’s much more traveling involved, but also much more food and crazy people, which I see as a positive thing. Palo Alto and Tucson are fine, but Athens, GA and Lincoln, NE have been completely insane. I must pace myself. Here are some quick sub-bullets:

• Week One: I went to Athens, GA and hired my buddy Esa to be my cameraman at the Georgia game. It was fun because we had both never been to a southern football game. Plus, he’s Iranian, so there was the off chance that we would be faced with some sort of racism, which is always a blast. Unfortunately, everybody in Georgia was ridiculously pleasant and accepting, and we were met with zero controversy. We were met with gaggles of good looking southern girls. I won’t mention any names, but there will be at least 17 babies born in May 2008 with a Persian baby daddy. Just saying.

• Week Two: Penn State was week two. Driving through central Pennsylvania is the worst possible way to spend a little over three hours. It’s depressing, full of construction, the skies are gray, and there are detours everywhere. Please, if you’re looking for an exciting way to spend a Saturday, do anything else. State College, PA isn’t all that exciting, but it looks to be a little better than the rest of the state. Penn State fans are pretty out of control, but in a less than exciting way. There were plenty of great fans, but they were easily my least favorite group so far. Sorry.

• Week Three: Nebraska. The drive from Omaha/Carter Lake, Iowa (an Omaha Airport Hotel is in Iowa, insane) is uneventful. I went with Yosh Jackman, who shot the ASU episode with me last year. He proved to be good luck again, as somehow we bumped into a Playboy Playmate. I tried to seduce her via uncomfortable snorts and below-average flirtatious questioning, but I got nowhere beyond a business card with a general Playboy office phone number. Yosh’s luck was better, as he gave her multiple orgasms in the middle of that tailgate. Ok, I made that up. Or did I?

• Week Four: This past week was Baton Rouge for LSU, and I was expecting it to be the best week of the season, but it was a day game and people didn’t really seem to care because the Tigers were playing South Carolina. The people were great, I ate extremely well, but it was a little disappointing, mainly because it was just a day game nobody cared about. There was a tropical storm that hit that almost washed us away after we were done shooting. Luckily, we hid under a tree until Yackie informed us that that’s where lightening strikes. We’re not very bright, and by “we,” I mean multi-episode cameraman Casey D. Oh yea, and there’s no reason to ever go to Baton Rouge other to see an LSU football game or eat pistachios and pear bread (fantastic) at Casey’s extended family’s house.

So that’s that so far. The episodes and SI blogs are all linked up if you go to The College Football Tour Guide site.

Ok, enough self-promotion. The new TV season is underway, here’s what I’ve noticed.

Reaper on the CW is really good. I don’t know how good the rest of the episodes will be without Kevin Smith directing, but I suspect there will be little to no drop-off. I recommend this show.

• I never watched the Hell’s Kitchen show on Fox, but Gordon Ramsay’s new show Kitchen Nightmares (Fox) is really, really good. I’m in, at least for the time being.

• I haven’t given Chuck or Bionic Woman a shot, they have wait and see status with me, sort of like with Heroes last year. For what it’s worth, I’m positive that the Grey’s Anatomy spin-off will faily

The Big Bang Theory on CBS is an above-average traditional four-camera sitcom. The writing was pretty crisp, but it could easily be a one-joke show about nerdy scientists and good-looking girls. We’ll see. So far, I’m in.

• The premiere of Heroes was pretty good, although I hope Takei lives. He’s Takei, man, Takei!

The Office premieres tonight with an hour-long episode, that’s the first of four hour long episodes to open up the season. I’m, needless to say, very excited. Sully, meanwhile, will probably bring physical harm to anybody that tries to disturb him tonight between 9-10 pm, and frankly, it’s completely warranted. Also, Jenna Fischer, who plays Pam, has separated from her husband. All I’m saying is that Yackie should be on higher notice than she already is with me parading around SEC tailgates.

• If you watch Grey’s Anatomy, you’re probably not my friend. Although, you’re probably my girlfriend. Funny how that works.

The Hills is A+ this season. It’s clearly all fake and a set up, but it’s too entertaining for me to care. I’m actively hoping for something disastrous to happen to Heidi and Spencer, so clearly the show has me right where they want me.

Weeds is good, although it’s sort of all over the place. I’m still invested.

Curb has been average so far, but that’s still better than pretty much everything other than The Office. The first three episodes have been uneven and forced – every plot point doesn’t really flow, and you already start thinking about how it’ll come back. The past few seasons have brought back these plot points seamlessly, while it’s been choppy this year. I’m sure it’ll get better, I’m just picky.

• I tried to watch Tell Me You Love Me, but got bored and just fast-forwarded to the sex scenes. I’m not a big scrotum fan, so I’ve decided to pass on this scrote-fest.

Moving on…

• When the power went out in LA a few weeks ago, I had to move my whole computer set-up to Yackie’s and when I brought it back, my main external hard drive with all my pictures and music fried. Fry’s couldn’t do anything and I don’t want to send it out for like $900 worth of repairs, so I’m sans a lot of music and memories. For instance, will I ever find a set of pictures of a topless, drunk Corndog wielding a copy of the Showgirls DVD? We may never know. Shame.

• I want an iPhone. It’s actually somewhat defensible considering all the traveling I’m now doing. It’s also defensible because it’s totally awesome.

• I want to move.

• I got new sunglasses and they’re still intact. Hooray.

• I want to boogie board. Badly.

• The Dodgers are terrible, I don’t want to talk about it.

(James Loney, 2008 NL MVP)

And, lastly, the Ducks:

• I love Oregon Ducks football. You can say that they’re setting themselves up for a freefall that has become somewhat typical, but I say, in by best Lee Corso accent, “Not so fast!” I also say, in my best Lou Holtz accent, “I still say Notre Dame can win the national championship, and possibly even the Super Bowl.” Actually, if Lou Holtz said it, it would probably just sound like, “Thhhbbbbbbbttttttttt Charlie Weithhhhhhbbbbtttttt.”

Anyway, watching this Oregon team is easily the most fun I’m having this fall, which may actually say more about how pathetic I may be than how good this team is. The shelled Michigan, beat everyone else beyond any doubt, and will destroy a hobbled Cal team this weekend. The Duck defense is suspect, but they’re absolutely trampling people.*

*So long as they don’t start dropping the ball.

Oregon 48 Cal 24.

That’s all for now, I can’t guarantee much, but I’ll update more frequently from now on than my disastrous September showing.

Tuesday Post

March 6, 2007

• I like the new Limbeck album. The instruments are fun and right now I’m listening to a guitar solo. I’m not nearly as picky and elitist as I used to be with music. If it sounds good, I’m for it. I think this album comes out in early April and I’ll be forking over 12 bucks or so for it.

• I’m sweating right now. It’s March and it’s 83 degrees in Los Angeles. I could go for an Icee, not your corproate, multi-flavored Slurpee. Red and blue, those are the only two flavors that matter. Period.

• I’m trying to figure out if I’ll go to the first round of the Pac-10 Tournament Thursday. I was going back and forth because I don’t know whether or not I’ll be able to move down if I get cheap tickets. The thing that may push me over the edge, though, is the fact that Arizona will be dressed like a figure skating quintuplet.

• I’ve been shotgunning Heroes for the past few days to catch up. I don’t really know why I’m in such a hurry, it’s good (Hiro is one of the better characters on TV), but for whatever reason, doesn’t compel me to plow through it as anxiously as other shows have (read: Arrested Development and sighhhh, Veronica Mars).

• Fuck – my archenemy, back sweat, is back.

• I’m reading Seven Seconds or Less, a book by a Sports Illustrated writer who spent last season with the Suns. The minute detail in which he details the Suns beating the Lakers in the first round of the playoffs is both oddly interesting and depressing. If nothing else, I’ve learned that, so far, the Suns trainers and coaches are far more interesting than the players.

• A few more weeks until my all-beef Super Dodger Dog. I’m undecided on whether or not I’ll go with the garlic fries. I always regret it afterwords, but I need those one or two orders at the beginning of the season to reremind myself that they’re not that necessary of a side order to have a good meal at Chavez Ravine.

• I almost forgot about my promised Chuck Woolery post. It’ll be my next.