Archive for the ‘Lakers’ category


May 31, 2008

• I’ve been back for a couple weeks almost.
Iron Man is really good, Indiana Jones slightly above average.
• I still have more pictures to post on Foul Balls.
Dave has done a fairly outstanding job of cleansing himself.
• My job wasn’t too shabby either.
• The Dodgers are allergic to scoring runs.
• My turkey chili is bomb-ass.
• The fantasy squad (Tepid Weiners) is rolling hardcore.
• The Lakers are considerably better than your favorite basketball team.
• I’m about to eat brunch at some fancy place.
• I like some of the new Weezer songs.
• I had a great dinner of Indian food last night. Keema Aloo!
O.G. is moving to Chicago. There goes my Indonesian demographic.
• Omaha in two weeks.
• We need to go back to the island! *mind blown

The above was another emo post.


Thoisday Bullets

December 6, 2007


And thus, the bullets are back.

• I played tennis with my dad yesterday, and despite playing generally mistake free tennis and up 3-0, I hurt my back/lower neck when running and lunging for an easy approach shot (which still went for a winner). The next point, I was able to serve it (with pain) and immediately called the match in a fashion that, in retrospect, was probably a little overdramatic. I’ve been pumping myself full of meds, Yackie was even kind enough to set up a heating pad for me. Bottom line: this kind of thing happens to elite athletes performing at a premiere level. I’m listed as day to day, but I advise you to leave me on your fantasy bench for the time being, just for precautionary reasons.

• I haven’t shaved since the Michigan episode out of solidarity for the Oregon football cause. As soon as they win, I’ll shed what’s quickly becoming a respectable beard, despite the expected itchiness period. Hopefully they beat South Florida in the Sun Bowl, because if not, I may have a realistic shot at becoming the singer for System of a Down next September.

30 Rock is still the funniest show on TV right now and nobody is more surprised at that fact and that I’m admitting to it than me.

Kobe Bryant is good at basketball. He completely took over during the last couple minutes last night at Denver. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t remind me of a young Dan Rubenstein dominating the Woodland Hills Park leagues circa the early to mid-90s with his ability to go left and make things happen in traffic. Represent.

• I have no idea how I feel about the Dodgers signing Andruw Jones. He could be a disaster and hit .229 or be the bat the Dodgers desperately need. His HR numbers will probably be down again, especially playing at Dodger Stadium, but he still should be at least an improvement in the power department. I don’t care enough about baseball right now to formulate an opinion yet.

• I haven’t really been to too many movies to recommend or trash anything, although Yackie and I did get cheap and start going to a couple of free screenings. We actually only went to see Apatow movies, but both were really good, if not in pretty rough stages of post-production. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was Jason Segal getting dumped and moping (again) in Hawaii, with Kristen Bell in a bikini for most of it as the girl who dumps him and tortures him with her new boyfriend at the same resort. The Pineapple Express is a great stoner/action movie written by and starring Seth Rogen, alongside James Franco. Probably the next Half-Baked, but I’ll probably be wrong, who knows.

• My neck still hurts.

• I’ve been lame in listening to music, I generally just listen to Stern now. The music I have been at least repeating a lot (although not quite to the level of the Corndog loops) has been Spoon, Wilco, Steel Train, and the new album from The Boss.

• Immediately after I finish writing this, I’m going to finish editing the season two reel of The College Football Tour Guy (Guide). I’m not sure yet where it’ll be posted, but it’ll be somewhere so you can relive what I think is the best few minutes of the season all in one place.

• I saw Wicked with Yackie Tuesday night (pre-neck injury) and it wasn’t terrible. The highlight was probably dinner beforehand at Dan Tana’s when we got to sit at a booth next to what appeared to be a belligerent alcoholic threatening the manager and his wife for no apparent reason. Then, some sort of a work associate came in and sat at the booth on the other side of us, which prompted him to go over there and yell at some other guy about how some boss embarrassed him more than he’s ever been in his life, which must be saying something. I don’t remember specifics, but the phrase, “No, you fucking listen to ME!!” was shouted a few times. It was almost funny how awkward the room became. Oh well, the chicken parm was good.

• I’m intrigued by Oregon basketball so far. I wish they hadn’t lost, but Saint Mary’s is now #26 in the country and has some sort of freshman wizard Australian point guard named Patrick Mills. Somehow, though, Oregon beat Kansas State in Manhattan, KS and dropped a couple spots in the rankings. Hm.

Quickly, here’s how the team looks to break down: Joevan Catron is fearless, lost some weight and has a great soft touch around the rim. He just needs to stay out of foul trouble. Bryce and Maarty should provide the most consistency slashing (in Bryce’s case) and playing inside-out (in Maarty’s). Malik still has the ability to take over a game with his all-around abilities, but still manages to take himself out of games with an occasional lack of involvment. TP still seems like he’ll go on another crazy streak and probably has the fastest first step in the conference. Kam Brown looks like a solid contributor capable of both scoring and leading the offense. I, along with what appears to be every Duck fan, feel that the less Mitch Platt the better. Lekendric Longmire seems alright off the bench as an off guard. I really like saying, “Lekendric Longmire.”

• T-minus about 28-ish days until my first real cheesesteak. I can only assume the number of pictures that will document this historic event will be nothing short of creepy.

Thassit. 965 words of unadulterated brilliance. You’re welcome.


June 26, 2007

I have a headache, so this post is being brought to you with a healthy dose of adversity, perseverance, and dare I say, heroism.

• My initial idea four minutes ago was to live blog the Shaq weight loss show. The opening sequence previewing the show looked too good to pass up, but after watching the first couple minutes, I realized that I’d probably be too big of a dick to make fun of overweight kids. It even came as a shock to me that I have a line.

Anyway, at some point in the show, Tyler Florence makes an appearance, which I’m sure is in good intentions, but it’s tough to get over the fact that he’s the milf hunter (Food 911) and gigantic sell-out (Applebee’s). For what it’s worth, His contribution in the opening sequence was comparing fast food to prison food. Uh.

It’s too easy to make fun of Shaq, on account of him showing up overweight to almost every training camp he attended as a Laker (and this past year in Miami), so I’ll abstain.

James Loney could single-handedly make the Dodgers enjoyable to watch this summer. Not even a couple hours ago, he hit a baseball that cleared the outfield fence. This act looked vaguely familiar, but nothing I’m at all used to seeing this year. I’ve never purchased one of those overpriced Dodgers jersey t-shirts, but I’m as close as I’ll ever be with Loney. Woo.

Sully moved away to Redondo Beach because he says it will be an easier commute for his work. Personally, it sounds like an excuse. Some popular theories that have been floating around on some underground blogs include:

1. He needed to be reasonably far from where I was recognized (with him in tow) in the local Ralph’s.
2. He couldn’t handle the everyday rigors of living with somebody as recognizable and socially important as myself.
3. His unorthodox meals of raw oats and applesauce are looked down upon by the more civilized members of society. Redondo Beach is far less evolved.
4. THe positions and locations of him inexplicably passing out made his roomates and neighbors increasingly uncomfortable (see above).
5. He killed a guy here and needed to lay low. They’d never find him in Redondo, due to the rampant lawlessness and chaos. (most popular theory)

• I got suckered into watching My Life on the D-List, the Kathy Griffin reality show on Bravo where she repeatedly tries to top how much she can shamelessly promote herself. Some say she and I have a lot in common, but they’d be wrong. Sully.

Anyway, it’s essentially an hour of her trying to get into Us Weekly, trying to put herself into situations where she’s around famous people, and then telling stories in her act about how horrible famous people are. It’s a completely dishonorable way to make a living, but whatever, it’s entertaining.

• I watched Sicko. The message was unquestionably important, but certain facts were sort of glossed over and ignored. B+.

Lasorda’s Lesbos entered their second week at their rightful place atop the fantasy baseball standings. My situation is not unlike the events at the end of The Lion King.

• The Lakers might get KG. If it happens, start saving now for Laker tickets!

• The Oregon basketball DVD is disappointing. It’s almost as if Joe Giansante was waiting for an implosion that never happened so he wouldn’t have to make the DVD. It seems thrown together and organized. I’ve never heen a huge fan of blurry, zoomed-in TV coverage to escape paying for the rights.

Yackie got bombed at her own graduation party. She didn’t really embarrass herself, but she didn’t really not embarrass herself either, if that makes sense.

• I literally just received this email message: “ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER would like to be added to your MySpace friends list.” Hmm, seems a bit off.

Time to Advil up.


May 15, 2007

The Spurs aren’t a dirty team. Collectively, they don’t go into games thinking that they need to prove they can beat up a team and prove that they’re tougher, they’re just a team made up of superior players who occasionally win championships, never accept that they fouled somebody without bringing along a chorus of sweaty, bulgy-eyed violins, and when the going gets tough, they have been known to do their best to injure the biggest threat from the other team.

In short, there’s nothing to like about them if you’re a casual fan and absolutely nothing to like about them if your team is playing against them.

It should come as no surprise that Sully is a Spurs fan. San Antonio is, after all, within 15 states of where he grew up (Tucson, AZ), although his state had and continues to house its own NBA team.

In this series alone, Robert Horry decided he didn’t like that Steve Nash made the horrifying decision to start dribbling the ball while running faster than Horry could to keep up with him, Bruce Bowen has both kneed Steve Nash in the nuts and tried to clip the back of Amare Stoudemire as he was coming down, and Manu Ginobli commits roughly 37 fouls over the course of the game.

I’m a Laker fan and during the Lakers’ heyday, Shaq obviously barreled over people, (including the Spurs countless times), but that’s way more a case of a combination of Shaq getting calls and the refs not knowing if a defender had position or was in the safe area due to Shaq being so quick for his size (yes, at one point, he was quick). The difference is that Shaq’s dominance was interesting to the casual fan. Shaq didn’t whine, Shaq didn’t try to score by taking out the other team’s best low post defender, he just tried to explode using his obvious physical advantages.

Admittedly, Tim Duncan‘s skill set makes him the best power forward in basketball and is a surefire first-ballot hall of famer, but a lasting legacy of his will be that his face is associated with the death of the casual NBA fan. This isn’t his fault, in many ways he’s very much like Pete Sampras, being criticized for not being flashy or exciting, merely fundamentally better at playing in the low post than everybody else (since Shaq got old). The difference, of course, is that Pete Sampras didn’t cry or whine for calls ALL THE TIME.

The main face behind the big storyline of “Are the Spurs dirty?” is Bruce Bowen. I’ll clear this up for you if you were at all on the fence: Bruce Bowen is a dirty player. He’s been a dirty player for years. It’s what makes a player of his age alleged “excellent” at playing defense. If Ray Allen comes out and calls you out for trying to injure you during a game, which he did, you’re dirty. He doesn’t say anything to anyone (other than an occasional WNBA commercial), and he called Bowen out.

What’s even worse about Bowen (and now Horry) is that people in the media stand up for him because they like him as a person and as an interview, projecting even brighter what’s wrong with a lot of sports media. Wilbon on PTI comes to Bowen’s defense because he likes him and calls him a “student of the game,” and goes as far as to say that he “hopes he’s not dirty.” This is more of a different story about why reporters shouldn’t allow their relationships to grow personal with the athletes to cover because of skewed opinions, but it does tie in perfectly.

In Horry’s case, Kiki Vandeweghe called Horry’s hip check of Nash into the scorer’s bench “uncharacteristic,” probably because Vandeweghe wants to be hired as a GM as soon as possible. I don’t know too much about Robert Horry as a person, I do remember that he wanted to play in Texas when he was with the Lakers because his daughter was sick there. He got his wish a few years ago, and while his flagrant-2 on Nash may not have been characteristic for who Horry used to be, but it certain is for who he is now – a San Antonio Spur.

Most Greatest Post of My Life

May 6, 2007

I have been told in no uncertain terms that if I do not update this site today, my legs may be snapped into a number of different pieces. These threats are coming from people I speak to every day and know what is going on in my life in detail far greater than I go into on this site. Whatever.

• By the end of Game 5, I was ready to be done with the Lakers. It was getting ugly to watch the dysfunction on a semi-nightly basis, and frankly, I needed a break. There were too many injuries, varying gameplans, and inconsistencies to make their series at all enjoyable or a cause for immediate optimism. They need many things, but too put it as simply as possible, they need better players. Start there, and work from that point.

This guy is trying to make it to all 119 Div 1-A college football stadiums before he turns 30. He’s 23, I’m not sure where he lives, and he works at a Starbucks. He’s not going to games right now, obviously, but still the stadiums, although I’m assuming he will go to actual games during the fall. It’s like this, but with less of my nipples and more ambition.

• Last night, Sully, Jackie, and I watched Hoosiers for two reasons:

1. Jackie’s never seen it.
2. It’s Hoosiers.

Jackie was on the verge of falling asleep many times, although I think I managed to keep her as upright as possible long enough for her to ask, “Is that Jimmy Chitwood?” roughly 17 times. You heard it here first, all white people look the same.

• Today may or may not have been one of my last) trip to the Hummus Farm (aka the farmer’s market). Nothing’s definite, but since my new found appreciation for all things garbanzo (and chickpea for that matter), my life has ascended to unpredictable heights. I’m a hummus man, through and through. There, I said it. I regret nothing.

• Another recent crippling addiction is The Tony Kornheiser Show. It’s his radio show that airs on (I believe) both Washington Post Radio in DC and XM. They put up a commercial-free podcast of it on iTunes. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t run without it. The show skews older (probably >50), but for some reason, I can’t get enough. Basically, he bitches about The Sopranos, American Idol, animals, old people, young people, middle-aged people, and occasionally, he talks about sports. It’s difficult to explain, but it’s good. I’m probably insane, I don’t know.

• The winner of The Kentucky Derby is apparently illiterate, not that that really has anything to do with whipping a horse and not eating, but now I feel bad for laughing when the (horrible, tacky, uncomfortable to watch) reporter-on-a-horse rode up to him (with that idiotic helmet/broadcast antenna) and started interviewing him immediately following his victory. I laughed when he said it was the “most greatest moment of his life” while fighting back tears. I’m not a great person – this I know – but he’s won 4,000+ races apparently, he’s got to be used to putting words together for the media on some level. You know what, I stand by my laughter. There.

• Looks like Tony Parker found particular inspiration in my demand that somebody beat up a Suns player.

Chickadilla – I’ll say it now, they’re gonna take over the fast food appetizer market. You’ll see.

The Office was great last week, I’m always alright with flashing jokes, a luxurious women’s bathroom, and parts of episodes possibly being filmed at a mall 10 minutes from my apartment.

• The older Russian couple moved out of their apartment next door to us. Sully swears the guy was in the KGB and was the victim of poisoning. I think we can all agree that Sully reads too much

(I did once see him wearing camo-colored Tevas, if that’s any indication.)

Whale Thurmond III ran the hurdles yesterday for Oregon and came in IIIrd.


Bullet Train

April 25, 2007

• Well then, maybe the Lakers don’t have a shot. Of course if they win tomorrow, I’ll probably start all over again in my ridiculous claims that the Lakers have a shot. I’m clearly insane and delusional.

• The Dodgers are now tied (after losing two in a row) for the best record in baseball. Jason Schmidt looks (so far anyway) to be a terrible signing and Randy Wolf seems to be a brilliant one. Big Daddy Eisner, with his cryptic ties to the West Hills Baseball underground, probably could’ve told you this all along.

• Speaking of which, if you happen to see BDE, please give him my salutations. I’ve written songs, haikus, and some free form poetry that I hope to premiere on Def Poetry Jam on the topic of how Sully and I can possibly free BDE from what appears to be a love dungeon. This post will of course make no sense to anybody, so I’ll end the ridiculous inside-joke theater here. Just let it be known, that BDE is giving love a chance, and we’ll leave it at that. Hi Nicole!!

• And because of broadcast fairness rules, let it be known that Sully will be invading Ventura County for a brief overnight of romance and pulled pork, not necessarily in that order.

The Sopranos was great again. It’s kind of nerve-wracking just looking at the schedule and seeing only five episodes left. So far this year has been really good, but it needs to get great soon. There has only been a sprinkling of what makes the show good: bloodbaths, whores, therapy, unintentionally hilarious mafia captains, and state-run mental facilities. Uncle Junior writing a letter to Dick Cheney begging for release because he, out of everyone, should know the dangers of a gun accidentally misfiring. One of the funniest moments on TV of the year.

Entourage lasted about 9 minutes before the credits. I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing that this show always seems like it’s ending too soon, but even on the average, slower episodes, it seems like the credits come out of nowhere. On one hand, it’s good because it gets you instantly into the story and never lags on all that much, but on the other hand, doesn’t this mean that the pacing is terrible? There’s really no natural arc, nothing gets resolved, and the show usually ends (like this past week with the threat of seeing Carla and her Guginos) right at the high point. I’m so confused by this, but whatever, the show’s still great, and Artie Lange’s on next week, so it’ll probably get even better.

• The Oregon Football Spring Game is Saturday. I went to one of these with Tony, Corndog, and this insane girl that Tony was in love with a few years ago. One would think watching a football team you love in a scrimmage at Autzen would be fun and a good way to pass the time in the dead area between basketball and football seasons, but really, it’s confusing, boring, and you can’t at all follow the procedures. I’ll be fine reading the wrap-ups while I decompose watching the NFL Draft.

• Speaking of which, I’ll be decomposing while watching the draft on Saturday. It always starts out exciting, and then I just devolve into me yelling for old men in front of phones to just make the call. The 49ers have eight picks in the first four rounds, so for my little brother’s sake (even though he’s a Husky) I’ll tune in out of curiousity. Maybe ESPN can get Stephen A. to join the broadcast, at least for the cheesy doodles (below).

Hot Fuzz is a recommended movie. I saw it with my parents and Jackie. My mom and Jackie hated it. My dad and I loved it. It’s a lot of guns, a lot of action movie jokes and references, a lot of crazy Brits, and a swan. Also, there are (at my count) two UK Office cast members involved, Martin Freeman (the guy that played Tim, who’s the original Jim), and Stephen Merchant (co-creator and super-tall awkward guy).

• The Shia LeBouf episode of SNL had a really good digital short. Go waste time.

• If you know, please tell Sully where celebrities grocery shop. He needs to know and will go to great lengths to see anybody remotely known in a produce section.

• New Lost tonight. Prediction: something unexpected will happen that doesn’t really move the plot forward, but it’ll be interesting enough for me to keep watching. I’m really such a sucker.

Sheryl Crow cleared the air but her wanting to limit me to one square of toilet paper in the bathroom. Even still, Sheryl Crow clearly has never eaten at Tommy’s.

And with a good ol’ fashioned two-fer reference, I’m out.

Kobe Likes Shooting

April 23, 2007

Ah yes, the trainwreck that is the Los Angeles Lakers. Despite how horrific the final five minutes of Sunday’s game was too watch, it’s still difficult to pin it on Kobe. There comes a point, though, where you just can’t shoot over triple teams. It’s plain basketball sense. Lamar had a good game, the Lakers were up on the Suns far longer than the Suns could claim any lead, but couldn’t maintain and couldn’t stop Leandro Barbosa‘s hot hand.

I actually really liked Jordan Farmar and how he ran the point. He didn’t make too many mistakes and basically got taken out of the game on two shaky calls to give him four. The charge was phantom (he was going up for a layup shoulderless as Steve Nash slid under him) and basically got run over by Amare Stoudemire while doubling. This probably happened to a bajillion point guards when Shaq was on the Lakers and I couldn’t have cared less, but I’m a hypocrite, so there.

When I played basketball competitively (long, long, long ago), I was generally the best one on my team. I’m not saying this to prove a point about how great of an 11 year old basketball player I was, but merely stating that I almost always scored many more points than the other kids because I was taller and played in basketball leagues year round.

Anyway, I still remember a game that I completely threw away because I thought I had to win the game myself despite missing what seemed like 72 straight shots. Usually after games, my dad and I would drive home and he’d tell me what I did well and what I needed to work on. This was the only game I can remember where there was nothing positive. At all. He told me I was terrible and completely off, with the worst part being that I couldn’t recognize it and to at least give other kids a shot to score some garbage points in a game that I absolutely lost for my team.

Obviously, my experiences valiantly leading a team in a park league is irrelevant to NBA games, but I’m not sure Kobe can turn off that mentality sometimes. Nobody on the Lakers had a good second half. Really, nobody did, but as much as I hate rehashing a terrible, easy basketball cliche that’s too often used by lazy Fox Sports West college basketball color guys, shooters need to shoot. There’s no way Luke Walton, Mo Evans, Sasha Vuja, Brian Cook, or Lamar Odom can get going at all without getting into any semblance of an offensive set.

I left Smush Parker off that list because he’s really not that good of a basketball player and from this point on, I don’t expect anything from him. If the Suns are going to double and triple Kobe, play Vlad (shoulder-permitting), play Shammond Williams, play whoever.

The Suns didn’t play all that well and deserved to lose. Say what you will, I find it so hard to believe that te series is over. This Lakers team can still slug it out and just try to beat up on this Suns team. The defense (save for Smush on Barbosa) isn’t all that bad and can, at the very least, interrupt things. It’s too early to count out a team who was up, I believe, as many as 11 points in the second half of a playoff game on the road.

It’s nice to at least have a mini-rivalry to get caught up in, even if it’s mostly one-sided and overhyped by ESPN. I genuinely dislike the Suns more than any other team the Lakers play. Fun to watch otherwise, but I wouldn’t be heartbroken if Raja Bell had to go to the locker room with a broken nose.

Just saying.